A Child's Christmas in Hollywood

People say there are no seasons in LA, but the signs of Christmas are everywhere -

Santa hats have appeared on the Styrofoam wig forms in the shops on Hollywood boulevard.

The hookers have broken out their red patent leather boots.

The scientologists have fired up the snow machine at the "sit on Santa’s lap" personality testing center.

All is right with the world.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Ahem

The one below is especially good - "Santa as Creepy Voyeur." Ah, Hollywood!

Tea at the Oriental Hotel, Bangkok

On my third day in Thailand I investigate the bastion of Old Bangkok elegance known as the Oriental Hotel.

The most cost effective way to do this is by having Tea in the Authors' Lounge, connected to the hotel’s library, where the likes of Noel Coward and Somerset Maugham took their tea.

It occurs to me that this year I have been stalking Noel Coward. Through an unexpected series of filial obligations I have found myself in both Capri and Bangkok in the same year. (I know, how sad for me...)

Odder still, in both places I visited the homes of prominent expat-homos who frequently entertained Noel. (To clarify, they weren’t entertaining me; lest I give the wrong impression both expat-homos are long since dead, and their houses are now museums.)

I knew I’d be soaked in sweat by the time I walked back to my hotel to change. I bought a linen shirt from one of the vendors at Wat Arun, figuring I could change into it at the Oriental’s dock. The woman wanted 200 bhat. ($5.46 US), but when I mangled a few words in Thai she obligingly dropped the price to 150 bhat ($4.10 US.) Sold!

I arrive at the Oriental by Chao Phraya riverboat which disembarks at the public dock next to the hotel. I pass through a fetid alley full of caged live poultry and lizards, which makes for a surreal contrast to the swanky lizards staying next door. I struggle to pull the too small, button-less linen shirt over my head without staining it too much with sweat and dust.

As I pass the guardhouse to enter the hotel my heart sinks. A tasteful placard reads – “No Sandals or Bush Jackets Allowed.” What bit of weird stiff upper lip Britishness is this? No Sandals? It’s 98 degrees fer Chrissake! I gaze down at my grimy feet, and engage in a peculiarly odd bit of denial in which I convince myself that Birkenstocks aren’t really sandals. That piece of mental gymnastics complete, I forge brazenly ahead.

The Author’s Lounge is a glassed in fantasia of white wicker, potted palms and Victoriana. I think of my Mom, telling me to eschew white wicker furniture on the porch lest my home be mistaken for a nail salon. I laugh when I realize that this is the exact Victorian-tropical elegance that all those salons are aping….

I imagine that the beautiful hostess glances downward at my grimy feet, though she doesn't. She escorts me around the corner to a table well out of sight of the main room. I am verging on miffed, and perhaps more so when I realize I’ve been ghettoized; this is clearly homo – corner.

The table across from me is occupied by a pair of haughty French queens, both immaculately attired in freshly ironed polo shirts, with matching tropic-weight cotton sweaters tied around their shoulders. (Oh, puhleeze Mary!) Their shoes are obviously très cher. The blonde one gives me the once over. His lip curls when he spies my footgear. I nod hello and he ignores me, turning to his partner and shrugging distainfully, as if to say – “Americans, always under dressing for all the wrong reasons.”

Next to them is single British gentlemen, straight, but British and alone, and therefore highly suspect. He is wearing sensible brown suede track shoes, not elegant, but definitely not sandals.

I console myself with the realization that I am seated at the door of the hotel’s library, done up in Writers on safari photos. (Hemmingway, natch!) I muse that at least Noel would have been seated in homo – corner as well. (At least until he became the darling of the West End, and thus earned better billing.)



I order a pot of “The Oriental” tea, and the “Old Siam Tea Set”, which is a high tea with a distinctly “Anna and the King” flavor. Mango tarts, Sticky Rice Cakes, and delicious curried chicken salad, as well as the requisite cucumber sandwiches. The tea set is accompanied by “The Oriental Blend” – a tea created especially for the Hotel by the East India Company. It’s all too British Raj for words, which is a bit weird since Thailand is the only Southeast Asia county which was never colonized by anybody. I’m all for fantasy so I go with it.



I give one more go at being friendly with the French boys, but the taller one just prissily crosses his feet at the ankle and pointedly admires his footwear, while the short one ignores me. So much for improved Franco – American relations. While I wait for my tea a parade of Americans in Sandals passes through on their way to the pool, and I feel simultaneously vindicated and a bit embarrassed. Moments later the Gendarmes Du Fashion sign their check and leave.

Much to my amazement the hostess returns with a trio of high glam Thai ladyboys, who are ensconced where the French boys sat. The tallest one looks like a cross between Ralph Cruz and Imelda Marcos, and keeps his BIG Jackie-O dark glasses on throughout tea. They are much friendlier, and though we can only exchange a few words I do discern that they are effusively using “Ka” for each other – a Thai pronoun which in this context loosely translates as“the speaker is a lady, and expects to be treated as such.” Interspersed among their Thai banter are the words “Fabulous”, and “O La La”, no doubt in deference to the tables' previous occupants.

I don’t understand that much of their words, but I quickly realize that “dish” is a nearly universal language, and I am able to smile in all the right places, which tickles them no end.

Plus, they don’t even glance at my shoes…

What's Bangkok Like?

Somebody asked me on the phone yesterday what Bangkok was like.

This mailbox says it pretty well - there's Bangkok, and then there's other places...

Errata Dept - cross cultural mis-under-estimation.

Classic Thai-glish phrase spotted on the website for a resort hotel in Phuket:

"Landscape in secret garden bring you to maximum relaxation pressure."

I thought bringing you to maximum relaxation pressure was what all those girls in the Patapong night market in Bangkok were about?

Or maybe Mr. Bush wrote their promo materials...

Bangkok's New Suvarnabhumi Airport

I am a BIG aviation buff. I typically arrive at the airport two to three hours before my flight, partly because I am descended from my paternal grandmother, (she worried) and partly because I just love airports. Thusly, I was thrilled to be arriving in Bangkok a mere ten days after the opening of the brand spankin’ new Suvarnabhumi Airport. (For those of you not up on your East Asian news, Suvarnabhumi is the biggest & newest single building commercial aviation terminal in the world.)

I had been watching the press reports of problems with Suvarnabhumi with mixed feelings – cracked runways, creepily isolated woman’s restrooms, and major baggage handling problems. These are the same sort of things that plagued DIA when it opened.

“Cut the folks a break” I mused, opening the single largest transit terminal building in the world can’t be trouble free.

I want to preface this with a cautionary note. This post is not in any way a reflection on the Thai people. They are perhaps the most hospitable and charming people on the planet. That said, the new airport is a friggin’ mess. The Thai airport staff reflect a deep mortification – what was to be the pride of Thailand is, so far, a disaster. They are now discussing delaying the “official” opening (at which the beloved King presides, so as not to taint his Majesty with the problems.) Suvarnabhumi is beautiful, spectacular even, but is missing such obvious accouterments as chairs, to say nothing of toilets.

This airport cost nearly 4 billion US dollars. I am therfore somewhat stunned to find that there is nowhere to wait for your plane. The gates are sealed off from all airport facilities behind individual security checks. On paper this sounds good, as it tightly controls access to the planes, but it means that the entire terminal area is exposed to any hijinks that anyone may wish to perpetrate. (This in a country plagued by a brutal Muslim insurgency, given to blowing up Buddhist schools full of five year olds because at 3% of the population they can’t win elections.)

My flight time is two hours away, the gate has yet to be posted, and there is not a single chair in the airport! The lack of waiting areas has forced people to improvise seats out of decorative planters and suitcases. I half expect to see tent cites springing up like mushrooms by the check in counters.

As I listen to a German tourist bellowing behind me, I reflect that it was probably a German architect who designed this place. It is eerily beautiful, a bauhaus-esque machine for flying, yet totally unusable for any human purpose. Since the WiFi is unlocked and free, a few mouse click reveals this to be true – a man named Werner Sobek of Stuttgart, Germany designed this mess.

What is it with architects and designers that they become so enamored of their design concept that they forget people have to use the spaces they create?

The Wedding Banquet

Most of my friends know that this trip to Asia is centered around a wedding reception for my Brother and his Wife. (They were married last spring in New York, where they live. This reception was for her Father, family and friends back home in Taiwan.)

In the photo, my Brother and his Wife enter the banquet hall amid a cloud of steam. (Not dry ice smoke, but steam, presumably to ensure wrinke free garments.)

I know you're waiting with baited breath for the Banquet Menu -

It was -

Appetizers including Braised Pork Tendon, Dried Shrimp, Crispy Walnuts, Salted Peanuts and Fava beans, and unidentifiable sticky things.

and then seven more courses, plated as follows -

Roast Suckling Pig, Dried Mullet Caviar on Daikon-ish squares, Jellyfish Salad, Tuna Sushi and Bean Curd Rolls (not like egg rolls, but wrinkly bean curd skin like in western Honshu in Japan rolled up in a sauce.)

Fried Rice Dumplings (These had a soft texture like moochi balls, the rice must be ground into a powder) rolled in peanut dust.) YUM!

Steamed Sharksfin soup with Hasma Crabmeat. Very delicious, but extremely rich and a tad gelatinous for western tastes.

Braised abalone with black mushrooms in oyster sauce. Very good, and a special thrill since harvesting Abalone is illegal at home.

Cracked lobster (more like GIANT crabs) with scallions and fish sauce. Tragically, this got cold as we made our introductions.

Steamed Star Garoupa (a tender whitefish, steamed whole but plated in chunks.) This was subtly accented with Yunnan Ham, Bean Curd and red dates on a mess o’ braised lotus leaf. (Incredibly good!)

Baked Seafood (shrimp, fish, unidentifiable oceanic creatures) in a thai-ish curry fried rice.

The banquet finished with a tripartite dessert, including something that I can only describe as a pomegranate cobbler, (Indescribably good!) Cherry ice cream, and an orange infused flannish - custard.

It took nearly five hours, including synchronized dancing waiters bearing flaming trays into the dining room to the Vangelis "Chariots of Fire" theme, smoke effects, lighting cues, columns of fire, slide shows (film noir-ish Shanghai private eye wedding photos, with my Brother’s Wife looking like a much sexier Mother Gin Sling and honorable Brother looking mortified.) There were also three bride / groom costume changes. Again, shy and honorable Brother looking simultaneously tickled pink and completely mortified.

I am told that the reception drew on Taiwanese weddign tradition, but mixed in western elements. (Like an enourmous plaster wedding cake on the platform, and the white dresses etc. A lot of the razzle-dazzle is stuff that is currently popular in Taiwan.

During dinner, we were escorted around the room and introduced individually to the 300 guests, toasting with each of them. The amazing thing is, this event was about half the size of some banquets.

Taipei, Republic of China (Taiwan)

Taipei was a surprise to me – bustling, (expected) sophisticated, (less expected) and filled with incredibly friendly and welcoming people. After the serene order of Japan, the cheery chaos and omnipresent laughter of Taiwan was a refreshing change.

I am here for my Brother’s wedding reception. Our hotel is downtown near City Hall and directly across the street from Taipei 101, the world’s tallest building. I am a tad ashamed to admit my own ethnocentrism; I thought the tallest building was the Sears tower in Chicago. (Actually it depends on how you define “tallest”, but that is another story altogether.)

The neighborhood where we are staying is bustling with restaurants, shops and theatres, interspersed with peculiarly staid and massive 1960’s chinosierie buildings honoring Chang Kai Shek. The lower floors of Taipei 101 contain the most upscale shopping center I’ve ever been in. (I live in Los Angeles, the American epicenter of the faux urban experience known as the shopping mall, so that’s saying something.)

The food court at Taipei 101 belies our image of “food court” – a breathtakingly international bounty of food is available here. I know that later Yueh Ling and her friends will take us to the night markets for some authentic Taiwanese specialties, so I go easy here. I blanch a bit at the thought of some of the food I suspect will be on offer, and time proves this instinct correct. Pig blood rice cake, steaming bowls of pig intestine, whole duck heads and “stinky tofu” which is so pungent that your eyes water at five feet.

Boarding with the Borg

A lot was made in our lectures here about the Japanese socio-cultural identity favoring the group over the individual. The Japanese are raised to favor how their actions affect the group (my school, my company, my fellow passengers etc.) over thier individual needs. I have to say it's true based on my observations.

The way I saw this most clearly was in Boarding with the Borg. Flying down to Okinawa, (Doesn't that sound like an Andrews Sisters song?) I was a bit concerned as the flight had yet to board at fifteen minutes before departure. At ten minutes to departure the announcement that boarding would begin was made. The ground crew bowed three time at the waiting passengers. (Who were waiting patiently in their seats rather than clamoring at the gate as the zone five grannies from Dubuque, Iowa do in the US.)

The Japanese passengers stood, and in one smooth and amazingly rapid process flowed on board in an orderly stream and took their seats. No one stopped in the aisle to rearrange their bags, tried to change seats, or even stood in the aisle to grab thier paperback while stowing luggage.

The entire Boeing 767-400 (that's a really big plane - some 350 passengers when outfitted for Japan) was loaded, bags stowed, seat-belted and taxiing out early in under eight minutes.
It was truly stunning to me as an aircraft that size typically take 30-45 minutes to board in the US even with the flight crew pleading with people to speed it up. In the US passengers would be encamped in the aisles while they repacked thier bags, gate crashing outside thier zones, spilling thier McDonalds Mega-Huge beverages etc.

We could take a lesson from the Japanese on this one!

The view of Mr Fuji over the plane's wing.

Sayonara Japan!

Goodbye to Japan.

We flew last night to Okinawa, on our way to Taipei, Taiwan. Which was a spectacular flight - clear as a bell, so we could see Mt Fuji.

Okinawa airport was festooned with orchids - thousands of them everywhere. it was a little surreal, as I don't generally think of Japan as including tropical islands!

Then on to Taipei, on China Airlines.

Retro Sumo Wrestler Trading Cards

Ok - no big commentary here. These Retro Sumo Wrestler Trading Cards are just cool. - Will

The (really) big Buddha of Nara

Ok, you've all heard superlatives when traveling. The biggest, best, oldest, tallest, best-est, oldest made of sheep cartilage etc. This one - Todai-Ji Temple at Nara, really is two of those things.

Todai-Ji is both the largest, and oldest wooden building in the world. It’s really, really big. As if that wasn't enough, the temple contains the biggest (old) bronze Buddha statue in the world. (There is a bigger bronze Buddha in Hong Kong, but it is modern.)

The temple is surrounded by a vast park, known for its deer - who are said to be holy messengers. Holy and hungry, as it turns out. The deer have grown accustomed to the crowds that UNESCO World Heritage status brings. As outward and visible proof of their holiness, they have figured out how to badger food from the pilgrims by bowing. (It’s a bit more like the equine head nod that horses do, but I make it a point not to quibble with deer.)

Outside the temple dozens of school kids madly fan the censure with their cheery red hats. They fan the incense smoke over their heads to invite Buddha’s blessing and make them smarter. Have you ever seen American school kids engaged in a playful ritual to make them smarter?

I was expecting a really big Buddha, and the Buddha of Todai-ji didn’t disappoint. This was Indiana Jones & the Temple of Doom big. I wasn't expecting the totally breathtaking scale, nor the Buddha’s otherworldly beauty. The picture doesn’t begin convey the scale of this place. The Buddha's thumb is as big as I am. Ten men can stand on his palm. The lotus flower seen frame right in the picture is three stories tall. Those candles on the alter? Two times the size of a full grown man.

Of everything I’ve seen in Japan this place struck me the most deeply. Beautiful and holy, exotic and spectacular – it was everything I came to the East to see. The peace of the temple is so deep – it rendered the throngs of visitors invisible to me.

“The Loach Scooping Dance”

Sakai – Ko & Matsue

In one of the more interesting manifestations of Japanese culture I’ve seen here I just witnessed an updated “loach scooping dance.” A loach is a small paddy and mud dwelling fish, traditionally scooped up in baskets which filter the mud and silt out and leave the fishes. The particular performer updated the traditional dance and added a twist by conjuring live loaches and eels during the act. It was pretty impressive – as a live eel is a lot more slithery to keep up your sleeve than a dove…

PS: The dance also featured a segment on the “plucking of the leeches” in which the conjurer / dancer removed leeches from his legs. Thankfully I’d already had breakfast…

Miyajima Island, the Shrine of Itsukushima-Jinja and the floating Torrii Gate

Miyajima Island is the most beautiful place I've seen thus far in Japan. (Though it seems I say that each day here...)

The entire shrine is built up on piers over the bay. (Or over the mud if you are there at low tide.) Fortuitously, I was there on a full moon high tide, and the water lapped gently just below the decking. Even more fortuitously, and completely by accident, the Dalai Lama was doing a blessing at the Buddhist temple just up the hill. The monks at the shrine were all engaged in building offertory alters of evergreen boughs and performing ritual purifications as I wandered about.

Miyajima island was considered so sacred that commoners were not allowed to touch its shores. The entire temple is suspended on piers, floating over the bay. The shrine was built in the 6th century, and remodeled in 1168. Pilgrims enter the shrine through the famous “floating” torrii gate. (A torrii is the characteristic gate that always fronts a Shinto shrine. The act of entering through the gate purifies the visitor so that they may proceed to the alter(s) to make their prayers. Nowadays most visitors arrive by commercial ferry, so they have built another torrii gate over the road from the ferry terminal.

This gate is listed by the Japanese government as one if the three best views in Japan.

This is the most Pisces friendly place I’ve ever been. A Shinto shrine dedicated to purification suspended over a beautiful half moon shaped bay. (Did I mention that the roads surrounding the shrine are all jammed with vendors selling grilled oysters?) I was in fish heaven. (The foremost aquarium in southern Japan is right next door to boot, but alas I didn’t have time.)

The shrine itself is a gently meandering series of piers with various alters spread throughout. There are washing stations where you ritually wash before making a prayer or buying a fortune. (Shinto practitioners buy fortunes after making a prayer to see if the prayer will be answered.)

The Shrine’s sightlines are all oriented toward the famous “floating” Torrii gate (pictured) through which latter day pilgrims arrived. The main alter is aligned perfectly to the gate and offers a spectacular view out over the bay.

On your way back to the ferry don’t forget to have some grilled oysters!

Tsukiji Fish Market in Tokyo

Today I woke up at 4:30 am to go to the Tsukiji Wholesale Fish Market in Tokyo. I shop in the wholesale markets in downtown LA fairly often, so I was expecting that this would be somewhat familiar.

Though generically similar, this was a whole different animal. (A different Sea Monster, to be more specific.) Giant squid, sea anemones, urchins, and more varieties of clams and scallops than I knew existed. Thousands of varieties of finfish and shellfish arrayed on slabs and in Styrofoam holding tanks, the hall nearly as big as an American football field.

I thought I would be able find Tsukiji by smell from the subway, but I was wrong. I had forgotten the Japanese fetish for cleanliness. Literally thousands of tons of fish move through this place daily, yet it smelled clean and fresh, oceanic in the way that a perfect oyster tastes. Instead I just followed the folks in rubber boots, and that instinct took me directly to the market. I didn't take a lot of photos of the fish themselves, because to photograph them felt like pornography. The array was so sensual it forbade the camera's crude exploitation.

What I was most unprepared for was the frenzy of the marketplace. This place is, quite simply, the agora that the term agoraphobia could have been coined for. A cacophony of whistles shrill as carts and wheelbarrows of fish are sprinted headlong from the auctions to the waiting restaurant supply trucks. The cult of freshness reaches its apogee here. In the main crossroads of the delivery area a traffic cop does a balletic pantomime, punctuated by shrill whistles, conducting the madness with meditative precision.

As a visitor, you have to remain constantly alert to avoid being run over. A single moment's inattention could prove fatal. In the midst of the maelstrom, the intense politeness of the Japanese belies the frenzy. Speedy bows and quick nods are doled out as you dance around the onslaught.

If you ever visit Tokyo, this is an experience not to be missed. (That and the bonus of unbelievably fresh breakfast sushi, only minutes removed from the fleet.)

Read more about the market in Tsukiji: The Fish Market at the Center of the World.

Enroute to Tokyo (A little politeness goes a long way..)

I'm on my way to Tokyo, aboard Korean Airlines Flight 002. I am delighted by the spectacularly good food. "Sushi on a Plane" seem a much better call than the "Snakes on a Plane" movie... (Also a delicious Korean bibimbob , with a toothpaste tube of fiery chili paste on the side!)

It's rumored that politeness goes a long way in Asia, and I quickly find it to be true, even when inadvertent.

After boarding, I got settled into my seat. Just as the chef Steward emerged from behind the curtain, I dropped my glasses and leaned down to pick them up, the gesture of an extravagant bow. Somewhat startled, but obviouly pleased, he immediately returned my deep though inadvertent bow.

From that point on I was the flight crews darling, a polite barbarian in their midst.

I remember being on a California bound flight several years earlier. A Japanese man was returning from the rest room when he encountered a very old gaijin (Caucasian - barbarian - redneck) lady. He bowed deeply, profoundly respectful of her age and experience. She nodded back with impatience. Since she returned the "bow" he bowed again, even more deeply. This exchange continued for several more bows, each more elaborate and deep than the last. She nodded back, more curtly each time. (I suspected her depends undergarments were at the end of their natural life.) He bowed even more reverently, and she finally snorted in disgust and shouldered her way past him, leaving him stunned in her wake.

This seems a profound metaphor for International relations, how easily we can inadvertantly offend in "misunderestimating" (sic) the motives of others. Let's hope greater care is taken in entering the hornet's nest of negotiation around the North Korean nuclear quesion. (or nukular as our oh so gaijin leader would have it...)

USATODAY.com - Page scandal exposes GOP's gay identity crisis

USATODAY.com - Page scandal exposes GOP's gay identity crisis: "Page scandal exposes GOP's gay identity crisis"

What has been missing from the discussions in the media of the Mark Foley scandal is actually the central fact of the matter. Many of Foley's problems are not related to his being Gay, but rather to his being Republican.

"If wishes were horses then elephants would ride department" Notice that Fox News mis-labeled Foley a Democrat on the O'Reilly factor, screenshot at the left. Fair and balanced, n'est pas?)

Foley's alcoholism and totally inappropriate sexual behavior are a direct result of the repression of sexuality in our culture. The war on sexuality is the Republican's stock in trade.

The fact that his fellow Republicans routinely engage in baiting of gay issues creates a climate of shame. There are thousands of gay people in the Republican party (why I'll never know.) They live in a climate of self-hatred that is reinforced by their party's exploitive gay bashing agenda. They are, to an individual, the most miserable people I know.

Think of it this way - take a hose and turn it on full blast. Now try to stop the water flow with your hands. The harder you bear down the greater the pressure becomes. As you stop the flow in one place, the water spurts out somewhere else. Sexuality (of all kinds) operates this way - the more you try to suppress it - the more is flows out somewhere else. Mark Foley's inappropriate behavior is a direct result of a lifetime spent hiding and hating himself. His exploitation of those younger and less powerful is repulsive, but totally in keeping with the hypocrisy of his party.

I know hundreds of well adjusted, productive members of society who happen to be gay. The overarching characteristic we share is an adjustment to our sexuality that is open, freely expressed in healthy ways, and not closeted and hidden in shame.

USATODAY.com - Overseas voting a concern again

USATODAY.com - Overseas voting a concern again: "Six years after problems counting overseas votes clouded the 2000 presidential election, U.S. troops and other Americans abroad face tight timetables and emerging technologies that still make it difficult to have their votes counted."

The article goes on to discuss tight timelines in absentee balloting making it difficult to qualify. My experience bears this out. I will be overseas during the election this year. Obviously I consider this to be a VERY important race.

California won't accept my absentee ballot application until October 9th - just 30 days before the election. Knowing the mind-boggling ineffeciency of Los Angeles city government, I have grave doubts that they will return my ballot to me before I leave the country on the 26th.

Imagine how much worse it is for those stationed overseas, who can't walk into the local dept of elections office with thier application in hand.

Evolution Major Vanishes From Approved Federal List - New York Times

Evolution Major Vanishes From Approved Federal List - New York Times:

Can you believe this? Given the Bush regime's penchent for ignoring both due process and the law, we're supposed to believe that the removal of Evolutionary Science as an approved college major for students on government grants is an "accident?"

You know, Gravity is just a theory too. Maybe they'll get to work at repealing that next.

Bush trims this year's Texas stay to 10 days. Good thing nothing important is going on ...

USATODAY.com - Bush trims this year's Texas stay to 10 days: "'Last summer, he was not seen as being on top of the job,' says Merle Black, a political scientist at Emory University in Atlanta. 'He doesn't want to be seen taking a whole month off right now. It doesn't look good.'"

In DC, it's all about how it looks right?

This may be a cheap shot, but "last summer he was seen as not being on top of the job? Just last summer? Is anyone paying attention?

Memo to the White House - the entire Middle East is melting down. Oh, I forgot - they have a fax machine in Crawford. That was part of what the President helpfully told us when he said the American people "don't understand the definition of work."

(You may remember that comment came when he was asked about his month long vacation in 2001 during which he ignored the intelligence reports about the impending 9/11 attacks.)

I really don't have to say any more on this one - it speaks for itself...

Mel Gibson's Drunken Anti-Semitic Tirade.

Chalk it up to the tequila...

When arrested last weekend for drunken driving,* Mel Gibson, director of the jolly gorefest "Passion of the Christ" allegedly burst out in an anti Semitic rant. (Apropos of what? One wonders...)

He also allegedly verbally harassed the arresting officers. The LA County Sheriff's Dept. is believed to have expunged the description of the tirade from the arrest report.

Mel Gibson's anti-Semitic outburst was 'covered up' - World - Times Online: "the arresting officer'’s original report said: "“Gibson blurted out anti-Semitic remarks about "‘f***ing Jews"’ [and] yelled out "‘The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world," then asked [the arresting officer]"‘Are you a Jew?”"

Given the ineptitude and arrogance of the appointments made by the Bush administration, I'm expecting the President to nominate Mr. Gibson as the next US Ambassador to Israel.

Is it any weirder than Stephen Johnson as EPA Administrator, or John Bolton as UN Ambassador?

Maybe Mel could take "make nice" lessons from Mr. Bolton.
________________________________________

* Clocked going 87 mph in a 40 zone with an open bottle of tequila on the rear seat. Oy!

The Faboo Refugee, or "we might miss a beach day?"

I became a refugee this week, albeit briefly, and with the full resources of Provincetown, Massachusetts at my disposal. (Espresso, Art Films, and T-shirt shops out the wazoo.)

Perhaps I should explain.

I'm spending a few weeks on a small island off the coast of Massachusetts. It's off the grid, so power is supplied by a generator. I bring everything I need across the channel in an 18" outboard.

It's spectacularly beautiful, but the channel becomes impassable in even moderate blows. So when tropical storm Beryl headed our way I decided to go ashore for the night. (I am a little gun shy of storms after losing my beloved dog Lucky to a seizure during a similar storm on the island last fall.)

So I fled, hurriedly packing a few modest effects and beating a hasty retreat to Provincetown. It was funny to me that when I mentioned the storm everyone there responded "what storm?" By and large, urban folks are so out of touch with the weather. When told a tropical storm was on track to the Cape most folks responded "We might miss a beach day?"

Now I am fully aware that this exodus hardly qualifies me for UN refugee status. On the scale of human suffering, breakfasting alfresco on Crepes Forestieré and Cappuchino ranks not one iota.

We in America are so divorced from the suffering caused by natural events, and especially by wars. It takes something on our own shores like Katrina to wake us up. How quickly those of us not on the Gulf coast have forgetten.

This is especially tragic given the blinkered worldview of our administration. Now more than ever, we are strangely divorced from the suffering our actions cause worldwide as well. (See my next post on Lebanon.)

Urban Wildlife Part 26

Yesterday I was riding the # 2 bus through Hollywood and spied a truly stellar bit of urban wildlife.

At Sunset and Crescent Heights, a demurely outfitted transvestite boarded the bus. Despite her wildly unkempt wig, she was conservatively attired in an immaculately pressed suit / skirt combo. The styling would have made Nancy Reagan proud, though the dress was in lavender, not red. I mused that Nancy would have probably skipped the lacy white cuffs, as they tend to drag in one's soup.

So far this is an everyday event in Hollywood, so common as to not even attract glances from the other passengers.

The "wildlife" part was created by her accessories. (As Diana Vreeland sagely noted - it's the accessories that make the ensemble.)

Her dress was accented by a frowzy eared stuffed bunny, peeking its grimy head out of the buttons in her cleavage. The bunny was wearing an old fashioned head-wrap, as you might see in Ub Iwerks cartoons for the treatment of toothache. The bunny faced her, as if whispering private advice as she moved though her day. (A Harvey for the 21st century?)

The whole ensemble was perfectly topped off by her reading material, a dog eared copy of the Book of Mormon.

She slipped off the bus as demurely as she had gotten on, at Sunset and Vine, as befits a star.

How I love Hollywood!

- Will.

The Most Irritating Saint in Christendom?

I'm returning from Italy, where I visited San Gimignano, the home of Santa Fina. One hagiographer has called Santa Fina "The Most Irritating Saint in all Christendom."

Santa Fina accepted the gift of an orange from a young man in her village, and was scolded by her mother for her wickedness. Overcome with regret, young Fina flung herself upon the kitchen table and spent the next five years praying for forgiveness, until she died. Upon her death, the table and the many towers of San Gimignano burst into bloom with violets.
Hmmm, amazing how many of the Saint's lives seem to primarily underscore a fear of sexuality.

If you visit the Duomo in San Gimignano, be sure to check out the horrific last judgement frescos - a masterpiece in the "fear of sexuality" genre.

Despite this sad tale, I beg to differ. I think the title "most irritating saint" has to go to St Triduana of Scotland - who gouged out her own eyes when a young man admired them. She then presented them to him, skewered on thorns.

Yuk!

A stream near St Triduana's burial site is said to restore sight to the blind...

The Undead of the Carolinas

I just spent a week at the beach with the family in NC. On passing through the airport at Myrtle Beach (SC) I am struck by the need for a memo to the good women of the Carolinas.

To wit - it is highly recommended that redheads, blondes and others of Scotch - Irish descent entirely eschew black eye makeup.

Black eyeliner is best left to raven haired beauties, the undead, 16 year old goth chicks, and the New York Dolls. (in that order...)

BBC NEWS | World | Americas | 'Ethics training' for US troops

BBC NEWS | World | Americas | 'Ethics training' for US troops:

"As military professionals, it is important that we take time to reflect on the values that separate us from our enemies."

- Lieutenant-General Peter Chiarelli, commander of Multinational Corps Iraq, commenting on the US Military's new ethics training initiatives.

Part of the problem is that the distinction of who the enemy is has been blurred from the onset at the very highest levels of government. The Vice President's deliberate slight of hand in tarring Saddam Hussein with the 9/11 brush has led to confusion at the rank and file levels of the military and among the citizenry.

I've met thoughtful, educated officers who understand the geopolitical complexities of the region and have a clear idea of the mission. But there are also a lot of 19 and 20 year olds, jacked up on heavy metal and Hannity and Colmes who equate being Muslim with being a terrorist. Add to that the daily stress of being a soldier engaged in the occupation and you have a recipe for disaster.

The reductivist television media doesn't help. In addition to ethics training for the military - I think we need Ethics in Government, Civics and Journalism training for the American public as well.

Pope Visits Nazi Death Camp - Los Angeles Times

Pope Visits Nazi Death Camp - Los Angeles Times: "'In a place like this, words fail,' Benedict said later at a memorial ceremony in Birkenau. 'In the end, there can only be a dread silence, a silence which is itself a heartfelt cry to God: Why, Lord, did you remain silent?"

The Lord remained silent? Didn't the Lord touch Anne Frank, Martin Neimoller, and countless others to resist the war and raise their voices against the atrocities of the holocaust?

The more pertinent question is why did Benedict remain silent? The Pope was a member of both the Hitler Youth and the German army during the holocaust. To give him a fair shake it should be noted that he joined the Hitler youth after it became compulsory, and that according to biographers - "he wasn't a very enthusiastic member."

I find it profoundly disturbing that the spiritual leader of one of the world's largest religions sat idly by while millions of fellow human beings were slaughtered.

To answer the Pope's question - when I think God isn't speaking, I usually find it is me who isn't listening.

ABC News: Bush Brothers No Longer Back Harris

ABC News: Bush Brothers No Longer Back Harris: "She retained ChoicePoint to remove felons from the voting rolls, ignoring complaints for years that the firm had continuously removed legitimate voters, ones who often had ethnic names."

Surprise!

What amazes me is that the woman who perpetrated one if the most public election frauds of this century expects to run for the Senate in the first place. Her name is so tainted by electoral scandal that even the Bushes won't back this horse anymore.

57,000 legitimate voters were denied the right to vote in Florida due to Katherine Harris' retention of choicepoint to purge felons from the voter rolls. These citizens were denied the right to vote simply for the crime of being black, and likely democratic votors in Jeb Bush's Florida. Katherine Harris' office instructed choicepoint to use the loosest possible matching standards - eliminating thousands of African - American votes.

As an example - if a white man named Samuel Walton Jr committed a felony in Texas, then an African American Sam Walker Sr might be disenfranchised in Florida. Harris instructed choicepoint to match on only three letters and to ignore suffixes like Jr, Sr the II nd etc.

Never mind her outrageously transparent partisan meddling in certifying the 2000 election result in Florida....

The telling thing is that the Bush's aren't backing her, not because she is a fraud and a cheat, but because they feel she wouldn't win.

This fits right in with the "get my way at any cost" ethical myopia of the Bush family, and the climate of corrution they have created in Washington.

Bush's Plan to Seal Border Worries Mexico - New York Times

Bush's Plan to Seal Border Worries Mexico - New York Times:

"White House officials said Mr. Bush assured Mr. Fox that a permanent National Guard presence on the border was not being considered."

Nah, surely the deployment is just just till the midterm elections are over...

George W’s Palace in Iraq – On Time & Under Budget….

In the chaos of Iraq, one project is on target: a giant US embassy - World - Times Online

(Photo - not the US Embassy in Iraq, but Kew Palace, the Palace of Mad King George III of England.)

The one aspect of the “Iraq Reconstruction” that is on time and under budget is the building of the new 104 acre US Embassy complex in Bagdad, which the Bagdadi’s refer to as “George W’s Palace”.

The US Embassy in Iraq is nearly as large as Vatican City, and will feature the largest swimming pool in Iraq, as well a movie theatres, a shopping mall and food court, and its own electrical generating plant and water pumping capacity. At 104 acres the US embassy under construction is nearly 6 times the size of the White House complex in Washington DC, and will be the largest embassy in the world.

Despite the political cover about bringing “Freedom” to Iraq, as is so often the case, our commitment to “Freedom” only applies to situations where involvement is conducive to US strategic (read business) interests. Mr. Bush’s commitment to spreading Freedom and Democracy seems to fail him utterly in dealing with the genocide in Darfur. The Bush administration's real aim with this war was to create a thinly veiled US protectorate in the Middle East to ensure the flow of oil into the 21^st century.

There will likely be an ongoing series of oil wars in this century as the world competes more and more for finite petroleum resources. China and India’s populations are growing at an exponential rate, and much of the third world is industrializing rapidly as well. All of this will place greater and greater importance on keeping oil flowing to maintain US strategic dominance. (One thing the Bush family understands all too well is ruthlessness in the preservation of empire.)

What is not being adequately addressed is the impact in furthering and fostering terrorism that Bush policy is having. The annual State Department report on Terrorism documents a threefold increase in the number of terrorist incidents worldwide in the past year, with most of the increases related to the war in Iraq. While statistical methods account for some of the difference – it is clear nonetheless that Bush’s war is making the world a far more dangerous place.

The primary reason Osama Bin Laden declared Jihad against the US is the presence of US Troops in Saudi Arabia. Bush has now laid the groundwork for a permanent US base in another Middle Eastern country. (The military is also building extensive “temporary” forward bases in Iraq.) Bear in mind that the “temporary” forward bases built in Europe and the Philippines during reconstruction after WWI are still operating nearly fifty years later.

Bush has also imprisoned and tortured hundreds of Muslims without charges or trial, many of whom the military and state department have now determined are not, nor ever were terrorists. This is breeding growing resentment toward the US worldwide, and assures a constant supply of disaffected people willing to engage in terrorist attacks in desperation.

Imagine if we had a leader of vision, who had the courage to allocate even a portion of the 811 billion this war is costing to development of energy alternatives. Imagine also if the US had spent that money building wells and helping the poor around the world to become self sufficient, rather than propping up vile and corrupt tribal empires who abuse their own people to enrich themselves and their corporate lackeys in the US. We would have been able to retire the terrorists permanently when their funding from oil sales dried up.

The Bush administration speaks of spreading democracy, yet continues to protect, fund and defend some of the vilest oligarchies in the world.

CNN.com - Bush rejects tax on oil companies' windfall profits - Apr 28, 2006

CNN.com - Bush rejects tax on oil companies' windfall profits - Apr 28, 2006

When asked about a windfall tax on big oil's record breaking profits, the wishful Alice in Wonderland logic of this administration surfaces again. (The tax would fund development of domestically produced energy sources.)


Rather than taking responsibility for an active role in our future energy security through prudent reinvestment, our Decider in Chief would prefer to leave it to his buddies in big oil.

"My attitude is that the oil companies need to be mindful that the American people expect them to reinvest their cash flows in such a way that it enhances our energy security."

and then later in the same statement -

"One reason there's tight gasoline supplies is we haven't built any new refineries since the 1970s."

By this odd wish-logic, the same companies that haven't reinvested a dime in new refineries in forty years will now auto-magically forgo the profit motive and begin to reinvest in alternative energy. Perhaps the president has detected a sudden upwelling of community spiritedness in his big oil cronies?

Let's not forget that corporations exist solely to increase their own profits, and are legally prevented from taking actions that would reduce their own profitability. In the current climate of gargantuan CEO salaries, consolidation of privilege and energy robber-baronism the reinvestment Bush imagines will simply never take place.

Look how well the policy of "just trust big business" worked for the Enron employees who lost everything.

It appears that on this extremely sensible proposal Mr Bush is still the decider and he decides no.

BBC NEWS | Business | US war costs 'could hit $811bn'

BBC NEWS | Business | US war costs 'could hit $811bn'

Gosh!

811 billion here and 811 billion there; pretty soon you're talking a real deficit....

Campaign for the Civic Mission of Schools

Campaign for the Civic Mission of Schools

I'm a HUGE political junkie - to a degree that many of my aquaintences find somewhat odd. (I watch C-Span, can name my Senators, House Reps, and the Prime Minister of Canada for example.)

I am repeatedly dismayed by how little my peers seem to care about our government and its institutions. Young people seem to have no idea how our government works, or even what democracy is. (Neither does our president, so maybe that is where the trickle down theory actually works.) For the record Mr. Bush, "democracy" does NOT equal "freedom". Egypt is a nominal "democracy" and also one of the most brutally repressive regimes in the world. Sometimes they co-exist, and other times they do not.

The "No Child Left Behind" Act has made this alarming trend even worse with its focus on testing in math and science. Schools are teaching what they need the kids to test well in. This focus helps retain their funding, and alas, civics is nowhere on the list. Every teacher I know says "No Child Left Behind" is the worst thing to happen to our schools in decades.

Sandra Day O'Connor recently said:

...Civics "was routinely required at several levels in high school, and it was integrated into the grade-school curriculum as well. And that just has disappeared."

The Campaign for the Civic Mission of Schools is seeking to reverse this trend. This is an important idea, as what we teach in grade school and high school "sticks" more than we know.

I am getting ready to attend my 25th year high school reunion. At my 20th I was stuck by how politically engaged my classmates were. Our school had a very stong emphasis on both civics and on social responsibility, and it has paid off in a group of engaged, aware and committed adults. (many of whom can name the Prime Minister of Canada, fer instance...)

Mahler and grief...

I just returned from a trip to New York, where I went to a performance of Mahler’s 2^nd Symphony (The Resurrection Symphony) at Riverside church in Harlem.

It was a reunion of sorts, as my stepfather and both of my brothers and their wives were there. There were also many family friends.

This part of my personal universe revolved to a great extent around my mother, who died of liver cancer four years ago. This made our reunion a time of both joy and sadness for all of us.

Those of you who know the symphony will know the music is beautiful and transcendent. Mahler’s themes of death and resurrection, loss and questions of faith are so deeply suited to holy week and springtime. The group of us who shared a common loss gathered together. Memory was our constant yet unspoken companion, a melancholy and beautiful undercurrent.

Beautiful because my mother died, as is often said and rarely experienced, “with dignity.” Due to her diabetes, she had been preparing herself and all of us for the fact of her passing for many years. She died quietly at home, surrounded by loved ones, at the time and place of her choosing, and in the kind care of Dan my stepfather and an amazing hospice team.

I realized that for many of her friends I was a gentle reminder of the loss. My face carries the contours of hers in a way that those of my brother’s, who favor their father more strongly, does not.

I was escorting a family friend to the church. As I stepped out of the elevator to meet her in the lobby, she commented on how much I look like my mother. After that she remained still – savoring the fleeting moment of resurrection.

At the church, swept along in the strains of the Mahler's music, I saw one after another of us lost in memory.

As the symphony lilted and crashed through the church, I sensed a nearly sanctified energy of loss and rememberance among our guests.

I wandered the valley of doubt as I observed my youngest brother Adam weeping deeply. Something in Adam’s gentle nature makes him the most profoundly marked by loss. Who creates a world with this much pain?

The music reached its glorious crescendo; Mahler’s strangely coherent cacophony of faith overcoming darkness. I felt a a gentle awareness growing.

The reminder I provided to our guests of my mother’s face wasn’t just for them. Running my hand across my check I had an inner realization - she is in me, and always will be.

We left the church, sweeping into the soft April night in near silence. Each one of us had been moved by something more graceful than a piece of music.

The Mind Boggles, or the death of civility….

On the death of civility….

I’m flying to New York today, and have yet again been stunned by the lack of civility in public life.

Onboard the plane, I was asked by a mother and daughter if I would vacate my coveted right side, exit-aisle seat so they could sit together. They offered a seat across the aisle in exchange. Though I don’t particularly like that seat, I was moved by their mother-daughter bond, (or acute codependency) so I agreed.

The seat next to the one they offered was empty – which I figured was an instant karmic dividend.

I stood to get my bag and coat out of the overhead compartment. Meanwhile, a tiny woman from several rows back switched seats and took the empty seat next to the one I had been offered.

While I was dealing with my carry on bag, and faster than I would have believed possible, the mercenary mom sold the exit row seat I had vacated for her to another passenger for 60 dollars. She then plunked herself back down in her original seat; this crass maneuver left me with no seat in the exit row at all.

When I asked her to vacate the seat, she merely pointed at the seat the tiny woman had vacated two rows back, indicating I should sit there.

By now the entire plane was waiting on us to depart, and the captain was making the “we can’t go till everyone is seated” announcement. When the flight attendant arrived to try and sort out the mess, the mercenary mom showed her boarding pass, and feigned ignorance. Her pass showed the seat she was in as hers.

The attendant asked me to take the seat the tiny woman had left two rows back. I protested, explaining that Thumbelina had jumped rows to grab the exit row seat, and that I was ticketed for the exit row.

Now the people around us were getting irritable, and it appeared that I was the troublemaker, so I went ahead and took the seat two rows back. (I am six one – and the exit row makes a real difference to me, while Thumbelina could have lain crosswise in her seat.)

By now the flight attendant realized what had happened, came to me and apologized profusely, offering complimentary meals, snacks and anything I wanted from the beverage cart. (This was a low fare carrier – so all the meals and snacks are on a pay as you go basis.)

Being not without sin myself, I conspicuously enjoyed the freebies as the Mom of Fortune complained bitterly about having to pay for her chips. The flight attendant played along, grandly showering me with perks while she barely helped the exit row brigade.

It was a small comfort at least...

Yeeesh!

Bush Was Set on Path to War, British Memo Says - New York Times

Bush Was Set on Path to War, British Memo Says - New York Times

Just last week Mr Bush told Helen Thomas that it was "wrong to assume he wanted to go to war."

Now it is clear that he was lying.

This has been the core obsession of this administration from the earliest days.

In January of 2000, Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice (then a National Security Advisor) wrote in Foreign Affairs -

“"Saddam Hussein's regime is isolated, his conventional military power has been severely weakened, his people live in poverty and terror, and he has no useful place in international politics. He is therefore determined to develop WMD. Nothing will change until Saddam is gone, so the United States must mobilize whatever resources it can, including support from his opposition, to remove him."

Does this sound like the cooing of doves?

SAN FRANCISCO / Voter group sues to ban touch-screen system / It's called vulnerable to hackers seeking to change results

SAN FRANCISCO / Voter group sues to ban touch-screen system.

Is it any wonder? The Diebold voting machines change long standing electoral traditon, and may be unconstitutional, in that they leave no verifiable paper trail of the vote. In many states it is illegal to use a voting system without a verifiable recount mechanism, yet Diebold machines have been deployed and used in these states anyway.

Computer consultants have extensively documented the "hackability" of these machines. In less than 10 minutes hackers paid to test the machines by the state of Maryland broke in and were able to change votes, leaving no traces or record of the changes.

I work with and computers on a daily basis. I relentlessly back up and print out my work. I am privy to a simple truth - computers fail, and a back up record is essential when they do. Why is Diebold, a Republican owned and backed company so resistant to building in a paper trail so votes can be properly counted?

Stalin said that "The people who cast the votes don't decide the election, the people who count the votes do."

I never thought I'd be saying this, but "Right on Stalin!"

House votes to dump state food safety laws

House votes to dump state food safety laws

Have they no shame dept. -

This is a truly stunning story. You'd think that in the wake of the Abramoff scandal there would be at least an attempt to camouflage the wholesale purchase of our legislators by industry, but as usual in Washington it's back to the status quo.

How can any sane person justify the idea that food manufacturers* should not have to let their customers know when the food contains potentially dangerous ingredients. This is insanity of the highest order.

For years the FDA has been an industry shill. The Bush administration has engaged in an full frontal assault aimed at weakening protection of consumers from the interests of mega-corporations.

Clearly Congress can't be trusted to keep their hands out of the (chemically laced) cookie jar.
This country need a COMPLETE ban on corporate donations of any kind to politicians - it seems to be the only way to stop the wholesale purchase of our elected officials.
_________

* I've always found the term "food manufacturers" to be inordinately creepy. There was a time when food was farmed or raised, not manufactured. It always amazes me when restaurant staff say something like "we serve coca cola products." As much as I like a Coke now and then, I always cringe at the idea of eating and drinking "products."

Infection Is Growing in Scope, Resistance - Los Angeles Times

Infection Is Growing in Scope, Resistance - Los Angeles Times

Methicillin Resistant Staph infection is a growing problem worldwide. I am angry that very few media outlets are covering the role of sub-therapeutic antibiotic feeding of factory farmed animals in this frightening medical problem. Just this week a NC woman died of MRSA.

Most news stories like the LA times one referenced above mention the over prescription and misuse of antibiotics as being the root cause. While this is one aspect of the problem; the agricultural misuse of antibiotics goes on unchecked in the commercial beef, pork, salmon, and chicken and egg industries. Many nations in Europe have banned the practice, but of course US Agricultural interests have co-opted the USDA and silenced the debate here.

Few commercial media outlets will touch this story, as some of their most profitable advertisers are involved. Public Broadcasting has begun to address it, but the story is not getting anywhere near the prominence it deserves. How do you think it would scan with the public if headlined "US industries recklessly endanger human life to squeeze out additional pennies of profit?"

Wait a minute - that could be a daily headline...

Bush Threatens to Veto Any Bill to Stop Port Takeover - New York Times

Bush Threatens to Veto Any Bill to Stop Port Takeover - New York Times

Ok, so Mr. Bush has yet to veto anything - no pork vetos, no vetoes of the "poorly performing" entitlement programs he decries, nada. (Using my Bushspeak secret decoder ring - I translate "poorly performing" programs as "programs performing for the poor.")

Funny he'd dust off the pen to threaten the veto of these possible bills, as the port sale to a UAE based conglomerate stands to further profit his families billionaire cronies in the mideast.

As for Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld's praise of the UAE as an "important strategic military partner", that may be the case this year. Wasn't it just a twenty years or so ago that Saddam Hussein's Iraq was being touted as an important strategic military parter of the US in the mideast?

Has Bush forgotten that a significant amount of the money used in the 9/11 attacks was laundered though our "strategic military partners" of Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emiriates?

Oh, that's right, he helped all those folks fly out of the country in the days after 9/11...

Ever the syncophantic toady, maybe he just want to perform for the rich, regardless of where they're from?

Cheney accidentally shoots fellow hunter - Feb 12, 2006

CNN.com - Cheney accidentally shoots fellow hunter - Feb 12, 2006

This one is just too, too good. Who knew the Rove obsession with de-funding trial lawyers would lead to gunplay?

The obvious jokes are all there; "shoot first, spin later", "Don't shoot till you see the whites of thier oil" etc. It has been sickening to watch Scott McClellan and Cheney duck and feint to try and portray the accident as being Whittington's fault.

The best so far has been Jim Brady's (of the Brady Bill) comment on the matter.

When asked what he thought of the shooting, Brady replied - "Now I understand why Dick Cheney keeps asking me to go hunting with him."

On Feb 16th the Veep broke his prolonged silence and spoke with Fox "News" about the shooting. As reported in the Washington Post - he blamed the controversy on jealousy among the press corps that a small Texas newspaper got the story first.

Oh yeah - the Vice President shoots a friend, doesn't acknowledge it until his host takes matters into her own hands and calls the local paper and the controversy is due to internecine bickering...
That's plausible...

Perhaps the delay was so everyone could coordinate thier stories?

Severe woman charged with smuggling after human head found in her luggage.

Stock Photo

USATODAY.com - Woman charged with smuggling after human head found in luggage

From the eeww gross department -

Ms. Severe was bringing the head into the US from Haiti to ward off evil spirits as part of her Voodoo practice. Maybe it's just me, but schlepping a decomposing human head around with you seems more of an invitation to bad juju than a defense against it...

I'm not one to make fun of anyone's religious beliefs. Er... OK - so I do, but I exempt fundies of all stripes from the "no fun-making" clause. (All stripes meaning the Taliban all the way to James Dobson.)

My favorite part of the article is the list of charges filed against her -

"The criminal complaint filed Friday charges Severe with smuggling a human head into the U.S. without proper documentation, failure to declare the head and transporting hazardous material in air commerce."

It begs the question - do you use Customs Form 1089 or 1089a to properly document that human head you scored on vacation?

After reading the story I had the chilling realization that Ms. Severe and I have something in common.

(Before you run shrieking into the night, let me explain.)

I transported human remains (well, cremains or ashes) in my checked luggage without declaring them after my Stepmother's memorial service. I had no idea it was a crime.

Truth really is stranger than fiction - if I wrote this story and made her name be "Severe", no one would buy it - way too on the nose...

Nero Fiddles While NOLA Floods

The New York Times Reports on Hurricane Katrina response, indicating that dire news of the levee breach reached the White House the night before the president issued his statement that New Orleans had "dodged the bullet." The president was vacationing at the ranch in Crawford as the disaster loomed.

"The president is still at his ranch, the vice president is still fly-fishing in Wyoming, the president's chief of staff is in Maine," Mr. Davis said. "In retrospect, don't you think it would have been better to pull together? They should have had better leadership. It is disengagement."

- Representative Thomas M. Davis III, Republican of Virginia, chairman of the special House committee investigating the hurricane response.

Photo of Madame Liberty Melting, taken after a Post - Katrina fire
in a Mardi Gras warehouse for parade floats.
from NOLA.com, photo by NOLA.com user Paul Glover.
This seem to me the quinessential image of the Bush Presidency.
____________________________________________________________________

In my experience hurricanes move rather slowly. Perhaps not slowly enough, when you're trying to evacuate entire regions, but slowly enough to fly back to Washington.

Department of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff called the federal response "unacceptable".

Once again the administration fails to act to defend the defenseless. It seems that dereliction of duty is a habit with this president, all the way back to his guard service.

I can't say it any better than the all Republican panel investigating the Katina response: "Our investigation revealed that Katrina was a national failure, an abdication of the most solemn obligation to provide for the common welfare." - as quoted in the NY Times.

I would add that the "abdication of the most solemn obligation to provide for the common welfare" is the hallmark of this presidency.